Dear God...I know you're watching over me,and I'm feeling truly blessed,
For no matter what I pray for,you always know what's best!,
I have this circle of hand picked friends,who mean so much to me,
Some days I 'send' and 'send' them text,at other times, I let them be,
I am so blessed to have these friends,with whom I've grown so close,
So this little poem I dedicate to them,because to me they are the Most,
When I see each name download,and view the message they have sent,
I know they've thought of me that day,and 'well wished' their intent,
So to you, my friends, I would like to say,thank you for being a part,
Of all my daily contacts,this comes right from my heart,
God bless you, is my prayer today,I'm honoured to call you 'friend',
I pray that God will keep us safe,until we txt again.
xPx
Sunday 29 June 2008
Friday 27 June 2008
Veterans Day
Well today I feel bit down,I had planned to attend UK's first Veterans Day,and ,although I received my medal early in the year,I was looking forwards to going to Blackpool,as my friends know,I go to Blackpool often.
I was really looking forwards to seeing all the events planned and yes,was looking forwards to marching with my old comrades... unfortunately,Im not up to it,and all though I suppose there will be lots and lots in a worse position then me,I also have been told to rest up before my intense radiotherapy next week for the whole of July,also I have a medical appointment arranged by my solicitor, in connection with my past employment with asbestos.
Also,my GP rang yesterday to say,the blood test he had done last Tuesday,to see if the new heart pills are affecting my kidneys,shows they are,so I have to have another on Monday,if its still bad,I really dont know what they plan,I hope they dont take me off the heart pills,they made me feel so much better,before them,I was just an invalid,sleeping most of the time,or sat with my oxygen mask on....we will see,fingers crossed again.
So.... any ex UK forces out there,I salute you,brother in arms.Any OTHER world forces,I salute YOU too,god bless you all...amen
I was really looking forwards to seeing all the events planned and yes,was looking forwards to marching with my old comrades... unfortunately,Im not up to it,and all though I suppose there will be lots and lots in a worse position then me,I also have been told to rest up before my intense radiotherapy next week for the whole of July,also I have a medical appointment arranged by my solicitor, in connection with my past employment with asbestos.
Also,my GP rang yesterday to say,the blood test he had done last Tuesday,to see if the new heart pills are affecting my kidneys,shows they are,so I have to have another on Monday,if its still bad,I really dont know what they plan,I hope they dont take me off the heart pills,they made me feel so much better,before them,I was just an invalid,sleeping most of the time,or sat with my oxygen mask on....we will see,fingers crossed again.
So.... any ex UK forces out there,I salute you,brother in arms.Any OTHER world forces,I salute YOU too,god bless you all...amen
Wednesday 25 June 2008
Happy Birthday
Do you know its Paddington Bears 50th birthday today.... I think hes the original 'hoody' he has a website too,just to lighten up this blog.... have a nice day,going for my marmalade sandwich see thee.......x
Tuesday 24 June 2008
Stop worrying please lol
You really are a special lot,to worry as you do,
If you dont see updates on this blog you go boo hoo,
Please dont worry,Im ok,Im same as you,with a bad/good day,
I just decided,not to bore,you have YOUR lives,I know the score,
I decided just to put main things,you know,the kind that makes phone rings,
You really dont need daily drivel,you have your own pains too,
If worried,then just contact me,I will reply to you.
Loves you all
xPx
If you dont see updates on this blog you go boo hoo,
Please dont worry,Im ok,Im same as you,with a bad/good day,
I just decided,not to bore,you have YOUR lives,I know the score,
I decided just to put main things,you know,the kind that makes phone rings,
You really dont need daily drivel,you have your own pains too,
If worried,then just contact me,I will reply to you.
Loves you all
xPx
Wednesday 18 June 2008
Wednesday June 18th
Well hello,
Its Wednesday,the day of the race has arrived at last and I am feeling a little apprehensive,the thoughts of the unknown,people to meet on my new treatment team,new machines to understand,new hopes of a cure....lets hope my prayers and the very many from my friends are answered.
Not sure if treatment starts today,or if,as I suspect,its the intoduction day as in the information given to me by Dr Henry's staff last Friday,and in my brief letter from Leeds,or as this brilliantly informative site tells...in case you have not yet visited it,heres the link again Click on external beam.
Well I have to say that the new heart pills are fantastic,I feel like a new man (where can I get one at this time of day...[Dick Emery voice]you are awful....but I like you )hahaha.Incase you are wondering they are Irbesarten and Clopidogrel... strange sounding names I agree but for the technically minded,they strengthen my heart,thin my blood,reduce my BP,and boy,do I feel so much better,the fluids are gone from my calves,ankles and feet,I can wear normal shoes,and my feet look their normal boney sinewy selfs after months of looking like swollen cushions lol,also the fluid seems gone from my lungs which means I can feel the starts of my cancer pains,but at least I am feeling alive,not sleeping exhausted or sat in my chair with my oxygen mask bringing me relief for hours on end.
Bless all scientists who struggle through University and colleges to learn enough to discover these new drugs,bless also,the parents of the students who struggle to support their childrens learnings,here is my public thank you,here too is a public thank you to my GP Doctor Ashley Davies of Settle Health Centre,what a bloody brilliant GP...thank you sir....
Right...I've bored you all enough,time for a cuppa,watch the news,shower then await hospital transport to Leeds...cheerio everyone,may your own Gods go with you
xPx
Its Wednesday,the day of the race has arrived at last and I am feeling a little apprehensive,the thoughts of the unknown,people to meet on my new treatment team,new machines to understand,new hopes of a cure....lets hope my prayers and the very many from my friends are answered.
Not sure if treatment starts today,or if,as I suspect,its the intoduction day as in the information given to me by Dr Henry's staff last Friday,and in my brief letter from Leeds,or as this brilliantly informative site tells...in case you have not yet visited it,heres the link again Click on external beam.
Well I have to say that the new heart pills are fantastic,I feel like a new man (where can I get one at this time of day...[Dick Emery voice]you are awful....but I like you )hahaha.Incase you are wondering they are Irbesarten and Clopidogrel... strange sounding names I agree but for the technically minded,they strengthen my heart,thin my blood,reduce my BP,and boy,do I feel so much better,the fluids are gone from my calves,ankles and feet,I can wear normal shoes,and my feet look their normal boney sinewy selfs after months of looking like swollen cushions lol,also the fluid seems gone from my lungs which means I can feel the starts of my cancer pains,but at least I am feeling alive,not sleeping exhausted or sat in my chair with my oxygen mask bringing me relief for hours on end.
Bless all scientists who struggle through University and colleges to learn enough to discover these new drugs,bless also,the parents of the students who struggle to support their childrens learnings,here is my public thank you,here too is a public thank you to my GP Doctor Ashley Davies of Settle Health Centre,what a bloody brilliant GP...thank you sir....
Right...I've bored you all enough,time for a cuppa,watch the news,shower then await hospital transport to Leeds...cheerio everyone,may your own Gods go with you
xPx
Friday 13 June 2008
Met my Oncologist
Well,its Friday 13th,today I met my Oncologist today (specialist in tumours and cell mass),very clever lady,very informative,told me all that was planned,and that it takes time to set it all up as they intend to try intense radiotherapy as soon as its all in place.
It involves lots of technicians/doctors,nurses etc,and lasts 4 weeks,consisting of ray bombardment of the tumour on 5 consecutive days,2 days to rest to allow nearby 'good' cells chance to recover,for 4 weeks.
The treatment she hopes will be a success,and the win rate is 40%,the remainder,the tumour is stunted and shrunk,still a threat,but allowing more time in life then is at present predicted without treatment,which in my case,in April,was 6-9 months,so anything is a bonus.
She described all its ins and outs and merits and shortcomings,most are on this site for you to look through for information,there are links to all your questions on the left,interesting reading.
My friends will have realized by now,this blog is not about Me Me Me..its here for everyone who has the illness,or their friends,families,Im hoping,through my experiences,to shed lights on gloomy areas.
Heres the link Radiotherapy link click here
When I got home from Airedale,I expected a 2 week wait to set it all up as she described,which worried me into thinking "another month and my clocks ticking away" but when I arrived home,an appointment was waiting to get measured up on Wednesday...she is bringing in a Cardiologist as shes still very concerned over my weakened heart,so am I,so is my GP,who rang me later in the afternoon,to say he had sent a prescription to the chemists for new heart pills,please God they work.
Will keep you all posted,bless you all,you are all very important to me,even the strangers who E Mail me,thank you and bless you too
Paul
xx
It involves lots of technicians/doctors,nurses etc,and lasts 4 weeks,consisting of ray bombardment of the tumour on 5 consecutive days,2 days to rest to allow nearby 'good' cells chance to recover,for 4 weeks.
The treatment she hopes will be a success,and the win rate is 40%,the remainder,the tumour is stunted and shrunk,still a threat,but allowing more time in life then is at present predicted without treatment,which in my case,in April,was 6-9 months,so anything is a bonus.
She described all its ins and outs and merits and shortcomings,most are on this site for you to look through for information,there are links to all your questions on the left,interesting reading.
My friends will have realized by now,this blog is not about Me Me Me..its here for everyone who has the illness,or their friends,families,Im hoping,through my experiences,to shed lights on gloomy areas.
Heres the link Radiotherapy link click here
When I got home from Airedale,I expected a 2 week wait to set it all up as she described,which worried me into thinking "another month and my clocks ticking away" but when I arrived home,an appointment was waiting to get measured up on Wednesday...she is bringing in a Cardiologist as shes still very concerned over my weakened heart,so am I,so is my GP,who rang me later in the afternoon,to say he had sent a prescription to the chemists for new heart pills,please God they work.
Will keep you all posted,bless you all,you are all very important to me,even the strangers who E Mail me,thank you and bless you too
Paul
xx
Wednesday 11 June 2008
I feel a poem coming on
How I feel
Am I yesterdays hero?,was Gene Pitney right?,
Do I cry my lonely days or cry my lonely night?,
I cared for people all my life,
To God, its plain to see,
And now a possible end draws near,
Selected, cares for me,
Do I want to see their hurt,their sadness and their tears?,
When I walk alone that path,that erases all my years,
Memories,I take with me,but lots and lots are bad,
But the good ones ,make up for the rest,with goodly times I've had,
So much I wanted,with my life,so much still to do,
If you are part of my muchness,then I am part of you.
xPaulx
Am I yesterdays hero?,was Gene Pitney right?,
Do I cry my lonely days or cry my lonely night?,
I cared for people all my life,
To God, its plain to see,
And now a possible end draws near,
Selected, cares for me,
Do I want to see their hurt,their sadness and their tears?,
When I walk alone that path,that erases all my years,
Memories,I take with me,but lots and lots are bad,
But the good ones ,make up for the rest,with goodly times I've had,
So much I wanted,with my life,so much still to do,
If you are part of my muchness,then I am part of you.
xPaulx
Monday 9 June 2008
Monday June 9th Update
Hello people,
Today I had to visit my chest consultant,first time since the surgical disappointment,he was very disappointed for me,but,after listening to my chest etc,he said another course of action can be tried.
Not as successful as surgery,and my heart probs now restrict chemotherapy chemicals,so radiotherapy is next attempt.
I'm to see a Doctor Henry,a lady oncologist,on Friday,and she is to investigate the probability of starting intense radiotherapy.
Using my pet scans,and a computer they are able to guide the sight exactly where they want to administer treatment waves,to attempt kill off or dramatically reduce the tumour,if not to cure,then at least prolong my life expectancy...I'm, all for that.
It will be a daily blast of waves,for 1 month,hoping to do its expected job,if not,a small rest up,and do some more.
Then,just monitor tumour and if it gets cheeky again,blast it....there you have it...we have the technology...we can rebuild him...by the time they finish...will I be worth 6 million dollars,or just a funfair side show,with an illuminous willie.....if you visit,pays yer dollar,and wear shades hahahahaha
See thee
Today I had to visit my chest consultant,first time since the surgical disappointment,he was very disappointed for me,but,after listening to my chest etc,he said another course of action can be tried.
Not as successful as surgery,and my heart probs now restrict chemotherapy chemicals,so radiotherapy is next attempt.
I'm to see a Doctor Henry,a lady oncologist,on Friday,and she is to investigate the probability of starting intense radiotherapy.
Using my pet scans,and a computer they are able to guide the sight exactly where they want to administer treatment waves,to attempt kill off or dramatically reduce the tumour,if not to cure,then at least prolong my life expectancy...I'm, all for that.
It will be a daily blast of waves,for 1 month,hoping to do its expected job,if not,a small rest up,and do some more.
Then,just monitor tumour and if it gets cheeky again,blast it....there you have it...we have the technology...we can rebuild him...by the time they finish...will I be worth 6 million dollars,or just a funfair side show,with an illuminous willie.....if you visit,pays yer dollar,and wear shades hahahahaha
See thee
Wednesday 4 June 2008
Just a passing remark
Im so over whelmed by all my friends thoughts and words and acts of kindness,after a lifetime of aloneness,its taken me this far to realize.
My church decorated the little prayer corner last Thursday knowing I would visit before Friday,they also arranged my rosary on the altar cross,they said prayers Friday for me,maybe the prayers were answered in a right decision being reached
One recently made friend has searched extensively for a certain plant seed,despite being ill,shes found one she wants to have me scatter on the little flower border behind my bench.
It flowers early May,and that of course is my birthday,the seeds are myasotis...otherwise known as Forget me nots.
There are far to many kindnesses to mention here,besides,its difficult typing when I cant see the keyboard cos my glasses are acting like dams for my tear ducts.
I guess its like most of you say,its only being such a nice guy that leaves a good impression,what goes around,comes around,I can only say I tried,and thank you so much.
A quote recently told....
" to be born a gentleman,is an accident.... to die a gentleman is an achievement".....at last....... I will have achieved something.........
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