I am in REMISSION.............................
Hurrah hurrah hurrah.........................what a great feeling.....
Just back from Oncologist who says I am in remission,carry on as I have been doing stay positive,see me in a year,but chest consultant every 3 months with chest investigations and xrays/bronchoscopes etc.
The tumour is still there,half the size of its original angry size,and it has stayed that size since January,half the size of the cap of an aerosol can,so she cannot say I am cured.
The nuclear scan I had in April reports no 'hot spots' (cancer cell clusters) any where from neck to ankles,they never did brain as its not so long since a brain scan which was ok.
She is really pleased cos as she said " I have really been through a lot,and at the start it was touch and go,but I am looking so well,and gave me a hug,which was nice,shes a really nice lady,soft Irish accent and young lol AND married gggrrrr..
She regrets that they cannot do anything to repair the damaged heart valve except a heart replacement,but that is not a consideration at present as my breathing would cause complications,obviously.
So my friends,a really really big thank you for all your support which without a doubt has kept me going through some really dark times,God bless you all and thank you my forever friends.
Love you
Paul
xx
Friday 29 May 2009
Sunday 24 May 2009
Sunday 24th May
Oh well, another boring weekend... I was all ready at 0745 on Friday for my patient transport,it was late, so as normal,I rang the transport office,they had no appointment for my collection,yet I had the letter... oh well...wait till secretaries arrive in their offices at 0830 in Airdale and Leeds hospitals to find out why.
After numerous phone calls,it was found that the Oncologists secretary sent me the appointment date letter with transport details,but failed to tell the transport desk.
She apologizes profusely....."its ok" I said,but under my breath I thought.... I wonder how YOU would feel,waiting to get news from the Oncologist about your cancer...life or death... and having to wait yet ANOTHER week??
Cant be helped,also I tried to rejoin an old chat sites a few weeks ago and after a few days,still met hostilities head on,I really cannot understand why,after all,its the main reason I started this blog years ago,to explain about the real me,and my quietness and inability to mix due to my childhood abuse and experiences...so its not been a good weekend...why am I hated so much when I am so full of kindnesses?.I suppose I ought to be use to it at my age but will I ever???
Glad my blog is there as a silent listener to my thoughts.....
After numerous phone calls,it was found that the Oncologists secretary sent me the appointment date letter with transport details,but failed to tell the transport desk.
She apologizes profusely....."its ok" I said,but under my breath I thought.... I wonder how YOU would feel,waiting to get news from the Oncologist about your cancer...life or death... and having to wait yet ANOTHER week??
Cant be helped,also I tried to rejoin an old chat sites a few weeks ago and after a few days,still met hostilities head on,I really cannot understand why,after all,its the main reason I started this blog years ago,to explain about the real me,and my quietness and inability to mix due to my childhood abuse and experiences...so its not been a good weekend...why am I hated so much when I am so full of kindnesses?.I suppose I ought to be use to it at my age but will I ever???
Glad my blog is there as a silent listener to my thoughts.....
Wednesday 6 May 2009
Good news
Hello my friends,how good do I feel?.....
Today I had to go for the results of my PET scan that I had on April 14th,the scan is where they feed you nuclear isotope on glucose via intravenous drip,and after allowing it to flood the body,they take thousands of 3D pictures of the whole body from neck to feet,the idea is,that cancer cells gorge themselves on the glucose and take more isotope before ordinary cells have chance to feed,therefore,when scan is taken,any clusters of angry cells,show up like hot spots giving a 3D image of any new growth,anywhere in the body.
The consultant told me,there was no sign of new growth and he was delighted at my progress.
He wanted new X Rays today as a comparison,and wants to see me in 12 weeks,he told me he's pleased with my attitude and recovery rates and said he was not sure what I was doing but keep it up.
Its not only about my attitude and you all know it... its the love and prayers and thoughts received from you all on a regular basis of which I cannot thank you all enough.
My life has literally been in your hands,the hands you all held together in prayer,I love you all and thank you from the bottom of my damaged heart.
All I can do is continue the battle which we have all been part of,and keep our faith.
I still have my Oncologist appointment on May 22nd,I hope SHE is as pleased.
Tarra for now as I am having difficulty seeing the screen...love you all.
Paul
xx
Today I had to go for the results of my PET scan that I had on April 14th,the scan is where they feed you nuclear isotope on glucose via intravenous drip,and after allowing it to flood the body,they take thousands of 3D pictures of the whole body from neck to feet,the idea is,that cancer cells gorge themselves on the glucose and take more isotope before ordinary cells have chance to feed,therefore,when scan is taken,any clusters of angry cells,show up like hot spots giving a 3D image of any new growth,anywhere in the body.
The consultant told me,there was no sign of new growth and he was delighted at my progress.
He wanted new X Rays today as a comparison,and wants to see me in 12 weeks,he told me he's pleased with my attitude and recovery rates and said he was not sure what I was doing but keep it up.
Its not only about my attitude and you all know it... its the love and prayers and thoughts received from you all on a regular basis of which I cannot thank you all enough.
My life has literally been in your hands,the hands you all held together in prayer,I love you all and thank you from the bottom of my damaged heart.
All I can do is continue the battle which we have all been part of,and keep our faith.
I still have my Oncologist appointment on May 22nd,I hope SHE is as pleased.
Tarra for now as I am having difficulty seeing the screen...love you all.
Paul
xx
Friday 1 May 2009
May 1st 2009
Happy birthday to me.....Happy birthday to me.....
Well here we are...I find it so strange but so exciting....
Years ago,because I never had a birthday celebration,I decided to make my 40th a special day... but I worked as normal 14 hours,it came and went...no big deal... so I decided my 50th would be special with a celebration of reaching the milestone...It came and went,I worked the usual 14 hour day,it passed by again....so I decided,DEFINITELY my 60th would be a day to remember.
If you have been following this blog journey of mine,you will know that on my 60th,last year,the consultant told me I had 6 to 9 months left to live because of lung cancer.
So........having made my peace with God,and arranging my affairs,my friends needs etc and my funeral,I continued,with the help and support of my chosen few hand picked friends,and the medical team,I took on its fight for life.
I set myself little milestones in my mind,also being reminded almost daily by memories and things in the news or around me,that time was ticking and I needed to fight.
Little milestones such as,I wanted to kick Autumn leaves again.....to kick winter snow again.....to toast my turkey with a glass of malt ( a tradition of mine every Christmas) to give thanks for Christmas day.....to hear the bells ring in the New Year.....to visit one of the navy ships I helped prepare for retirement from the fleet.....to visit the garden of remembrance at Aberfan,where,as a young man,I was part of the volunteers that helped dig the school children from the disaster when the coal tip slid onto the school.....to see the clocks be put forwards to BST.....to worship extra at Easter time.....to see friends win their Tribunal cases as they had been treated so unfairly,to spend quality time again driving around,chatting and laughing,one to one,with my Scottish friend again ,to see my dear friends new house completed to see her happy face .....to get a birthday gift for my friends daughter as I am not sure if she really likes me or not,her birthday is the day before mine so if I did,I would only be a day away from MY special day.......to see a friend take a well earned holiday as she was scared to go last year in case I took a turn for the worse.....AND........to celebrate my birthday again.........
In between these major points,small things such as,will I see the new Skipton bus station complete and open,I also got a book of vouchers for a free daily paper for 6 weeks,would I use ALL the vouchers?,I have always wanted a really good telescope to view the heavens,and a guitar because I always wanted to see one on its stand in the corner as I missed all my youth of happy hippy,I wanted to visit the new Asda store when it opened at Keighley,and the new Super Tesco open in Skipton....and see the new beach area around the bridge at Giggleswick,where I feed the ducks....
Well...Autumn came early,so did winter snow,I had my Christmas dinner,I watched the television as the new year was welcomed in from HMS Belfast,a ship I put in mothballs for retirement,for its trip to Tower Bridge,I read ALL my daily papers not a voucher wasted,bought a high powered scope and realized how beautiful heaven is and which star will my soul inhabit,strummed my new acoustic guitar often,each time,returning it to its stands and smiling a smile of missed youth,I traveled the Skipton bus from the new excuse for a station lol,I watched a TV program where a secret millionaire visited Aberfan,whilst there,she visited the memorial gardens,I put all 13 clocks forwards an hour at BST,I worshiped extra for Easter in my church and gave extra thanks,I had wonderful weekend visits from dear friends,saw my friends new house very nearly completed,and had a lovely birthday meal out with friends after a lovely day out with friends in Leeds.......had a wonderful weekend with my Scottish friend,driving around Yorkshire Towns and the Lakes area,laughing and joking,one to one,it was brilliant,my friends daughter was delighted with her gift on her birthday and sent me a lovely text,and my other friend goes on her holiday tomorrow............and here I am,writing my birthday blog entry......
The journey continues.....thanks to you,my very special friends,god bless you all.
Paul......xx
............................Happy birthday to me.....Happy birthday to me.....Happy birthday dear meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee x
PS The new Asda superstore and the Tesco dont get finished till Autumn,so I have to keep fighting,and Giggleswick bridge is days from completion.
Well here we are...I find it so strange but so exciting....
Years ago,because I never had a birthday celebration,I decided to make my 40th a special day... but I worked as normal 14 hours,it came and went...no big deal... so I decided my 50th would be special with a celebration of reaching the milestone...It came and went,I worked the usual 14 hour day,it passed by again....so I decided,DEFINITELY my 60th would be a day to remember.
If you have been following this blog journey of mine,you will know that on my 60th,last year,the consultant told me I had 6 to 9 months left to live because of lung cancer.
So........having made my peace with God,and arranging my affairs,my friends needs etc and my funeral,I continued,with the help and support of my chosen few hand picked friends,and the medical team,I took on its fight for life.
I set myself little milestones in my mind,also being reminded almost daily by memories and things in the news or around me,that time was ticking and I needed to fight.
Little milestones such as,I wanted to kick Autumn leaves again.....to kick winter snow again.....to toast my turkey with a glass of malt ( a tradition of mine every Christmas) to give thanks for Christmas day.....to hear the bells ring in the New Year.....to visit one of the navy ships I helped prepare for retirement from the fleet.....to visit the garden of remembrance at Aberfan,where,as a young man,I was part of the volunteers that helped dig the school children from the disaster when the coal tip slid onto the school.....to see the clocks be put forwards to BST.....to worship extra at Easter time.....to see friends win their Tribunal cases as they had been treated so unfairly,to spend quality time again driving around,chatting and laughing,one to one,with my Scottish friend again ,to see my dear friends new house completed to see her happy face .....to get a birthday gift for my friends daughter as I am not sure if she really likes me or not,her birthday is the day before mine so if I did,I would only be a day away from MY special day.......to see a friend take a well earned holiday as she was scared to go last year in case I took a turn for the worse.....AND........to celebrate my birthday again.........
In between these major points,small things such as,will I see the new Skipton bus station complete and open,I also got a book of vouchers for a free daily paper for 6 weeks,would I use ALL the vouchers?,I have always wanted a really good telescope to view the heavens,and a guitar because I always wanted to see one on its stand in the corner as I missed all my youth of happy hippy,I wanted to visit the new Asda store when it opened at Keighley,and the new Super Tesco open in Skipton....and see the new beach area around the bridge at Giggleswick,where I feed the ducks....
Well...Autumn came early,so did winter snow,I had my Christmas dinner,I watched the television as the new year was welcomed in from HMS Belfast,a ship I put in mothballs for retirement,for its trip to Tower Bridge,I read ALL my daily papers not a voucher wasted,bought a high powered scope and realized how beautiful heaven is and which star will my soul inhabit,strummed my new acoustic guitar often,each time,returning it to its stands and smiling a smile of missed youth,I traveled the Skipton bus from the new excuse for a station lol,I watched a TV program where a secret millionaire visited Aberfan,whilst there,she visited the memorial gardens,I put all 13 clocks forwards an hour at BST,I worshiped extra for Easter in my church and gave extra thanks,I had wonderful weekend visits from dear friends,saw my friends new house very nearly completed,and had a lovely birthday meal out with friends after a lovely day out with friends in Leeds.......had a wonderful weekend with my Scottish friend,driving around Yorkshire Towns and the Lakes area,laughing and joking,one to one,it was brilliant,my friends daughter was delighted with her gift on her birthday and sent me a lovely text,and my other friend goes on her holiday tomorrow............and here I am,writing my birthday blog entry......
The journey continues.....thanks to you,my very special friends,god bless you all.
Paul......xx
............................Happy birthday to me.....Happy birthday to me.....Happy birthday dear meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee x
PS The new Asda superstore and the Tesco dont get finished till Autumn,so I have to keep fighting,and Giggleswick bridge is days from completion.
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